Sometimes a little nudge is all I need. I have had in the back of my mind (which actually means the front because it has been tugging at my attention) that attending BookExpoAmerica would be a very good idea this year. Given it is THE annual event in the book world in North America, I could learn tons, meet interesting people, and make great connections.

It seems obvious now that I have a plane ticket in hand, but I drug my heels and practiced the fine art of talking myself out of something. Ever do that? You have this compelling drive to go somewhere, call someone, buy something that may seem really random but the urge is insistent.

I love that I get dished up reminders to walk my talk EVERYDAY! The reminder this time - honor my gut.

The reality is that I just got word that my book has been chosen as a finalist in The National Indie Excellence 2008 Book Awards. The announcement will be made at BEA (the event mentioned above). No big fanfare but it was just the nudge I needed to get out of "oh, I could go next year" and into action. I knew all along I wanted to go!

I'll be headed to LA at the end of the month for the event and love that at the end of the day, one way or another, my gut wins out!

Oh,  winning the award was pretty fun as well!

For those who have read my book you know, I am all about mud pies! Coach Judith revealed recently in her blog that she too, is a mud pie queen. Here is an excerpt:

This past weekend I rode my horse for the first time in ages and it felt like a true renewal. Even the time I spent just getting her ready to ride felt energizing. Of course she was covered with mud from head to hoof. Another part of spring that isn’t as wonderful, MUD! My granddaughter and other children would probably disagree. I remember when I was a child in the spring time I would send hours in our alley (yes, in those days I lived in town, in Kansas). I could make magnificent meals out of mud for all of my dollies.

Later the hollyhocks would bloom (that is all that bloomed in the alley) and I could use toothpicks and create beautiful dolls. I used a large blossom turned upside down for the skirt and a medium one for the body with the unopened one on top for the head. Did you ever do that? I would then find a mud puddle to float them in.

What about you? Can you pull up memories of
days gone by when getting all gooey and messy was the point? The good news is that we can tap into that free flow of creativity we experienced as children as soon as we let go of the fear of getting messy, doing it "wrong" or looking silly.

Perhaps it's making a mud pie, perhaps finger painting with a child or grandchild, or perhaps letting a paint brush teach you how to paint.
What's a formula for more creativity in your life?

Learn more about Coach Judith Geiger, her fabulous retreats and her work helping clients to identify their soul's purpose. www.flyingchangecoaching.com

Top Five Reasons to Go to a Book Signing

1. It is a fun, out of the ordinary, thing to do! Call up a friend and make a date!
   
2. You are guaranteed to meet interesting people
3. You will most likely go home with a new book or two to dive into
4. You will most likely be supporting budding new authors
5. There may be a surprise. Each person who bought a book at my most recent signing at Malaprops received a beautiful What if ... Poster for free!
   

                                                ......

How does life feel when you are surrounded with people you cherish, who cherish you, and who inspire you to be the best you can be? Interact, engage, live the benefits that come when you are in nurturing and playful relationships. Choose your community wisely, show up, and delight in the revelation that having fabulous people in your life supports a fabulous you!
- Excerpt from The Woman's Field Guide to Exceptional Living

When Terry contacted me to celebrate the release of my new book and to celebrate the ambiance and delight she dishes up at her WineCellar, my response was an enthusiastic YES!

What I experienced was ... a group of very cool women getting to know one another in a fun way, a warm environment/space crafted with care by Terry, delicious wines to delight my taste buds, and a reminder that the possible ways to connect with women are endless and it just takes a little creative thinking.

Terry will be gathering women together on a regular basis for a women's night out in her fabulous venue so, if find yourself in beautiful Waynesville, NC stop by to see her to learn more!

Vin Wine and Tapas Bar

Each month Independent Booksellers make it known what books they love and what new books have caught their eye. In the May issue of BookSense Picks - available for free at Independent Booksellers nationwide, The Woman's Field Guide made the Notables List. Having just passed its official publication date, you might imagine I am thrilled!

Everyone who knows me has heard me say, "Support your local book store." Whether it is The Book Shelf in Tryon, Malaprops in Asheville, Osandu in Weaverville, NC or Darvill's on Orcas Island. They are all glorious, as is every Indy in between!

This month I hope readers of my blog will march themselves into their favorite Independent Bookstore, pick up a copy of the BookSense Picks and suggest to the smiling face behind the counter that they order up some copies of The Woman's Field Guide to Exceptional Living! And while you are there, you might like to pick up a copy of The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife by Marianne Williamson. It is on my "next book to read list" and I hear great things!

Though there are so many different reasons women give the gift of attending one of my self care retreats to themselves, I never lose sight of the courage it takes to say YES, the steps each woman travels to make it happen, and the gifts I receive when I create sacred space and set the stage for a good time!

I'd love to share a small slice what I have learned about designing a retreat in such a way that it stays with participants for a very long time!

Note: Whether you a coach planning a retreat, someone thinking about attending one, or you are designing your very own personal retreat - it all applies :)

Craft a retreat with care: I love preparing for and planning my self care retreats. My intention is that each woman will experience deep, nurturing self care in a way that touches all her senses. With that in mind - the food is mouth-watering, organic, and superb, there is a option of incredible massage, the setting is always a magical place with an abundance of outdoor beauty, the size is small and intimate, and the exercises and framework support and challenge women to examine specific ways they can step into more joyful living in their lives by embodying deeper self love and self care.

• Think of ways to fire up all your senses and to get your mind, body, and heart into motion while on retreat.
  

Provide lots of practical exercises and practices that women can easily take home and easily apply in their busy lives. It all has to relate to real life or it becomes one of those weekends where you have a great time but it fades ever so quickly. Too, the more fully we engage our creativity in the process the more powerfully we are reminded to embrace a creative life!

• Think about creating a goody bag of ideas and materials to take on retreat. You'll be able to pick and choose the right ingredients in each moment.

Balance planned time with free time: By creating a light structure that blends time to BE with time to DO you nurture relaxation and renewal while opening up possibilities for deep discovery.

Create a massive support system to help you integrate all that you learn and experience while on retreat. Examples:

• Have a family meeting to let everyone know what great support for you might look like.
• If on retreat with a group, design follow up opportunities to keep folks connected and inspired.
  
• Identify great resources and books that resonate with the power of retreat message.

What if …
You began and ended each day with an expression of gratitude for the blessings in your life? Through prayer, journaling, a phone call, whatever fit. How might that intentional ritual effect the quality of each day?

What if … you did not? What if gratitude was an infrequent blimp on the radar or it was expressed only in times traditionally recognized as times to “give thanks.” How would that lack of deep gratitude impact your life?

Here is a gentle suggestion to nurture a more grateful, more joyful you -

Take a Gratitude Walk.

Imagine taking time each day (and it doesn't have to be a lot) to be outdoors, to be in your body, to be thinking and feeling, how grateful I am!

As I write these words to you I have just arrived home from my Gratitude Walk. The beauty and sweetness of my North Carolina home and my life can so easily be missed when I do not take the time to embrace all the glorious gifts!

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
- William Arthur Ward

Creative Living in Technicolor

Is your life flat or full? Does life seem one-dimensional or multi-faceted? Do you experience life in black and white or in Technicolor? We often race so quickly through our lives that we forget to stop and smell the roses. A wise and inspired man by the name of Leonardo da Vinci once said, “The five senses are the ministers of the soul.” One way to enrich our existence is to expand our ability to live through our senses. Once inspired, we literally and figuratively come to our senses and begin to live in a state of gratitude and marvel at the textures, tastes, and sounds that reveal themselves each and every day.

Think back for a moment and remember a time when you felt truly alive. What comes to mind when you recall that experience? Perhaps the tingling of your skin, brilliant colors or the way light sparkled, a pulsing heart, a delicious smell that curled into your nostrils or a flavor that made your mouth pop! Your senses: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell are portals to rich experiences. Spend time playing and rediscovering the power of your senses and it will transform the ordinary into the extraordinary.

The key to awakening your senses is to get out of your head and into your body. Although you can read about the power of your senses, your own experience will teach you the benefits of living a more sensory life.  Take action! Use exercises like the ones below to intentionally become present in your day-to-day life.
Exercise 1: Seeing with Eyes of Love and Wonder
Look into the face of someone you cherish. Invite them to share this experience. Spend several minutes in quiet observation and reverence. What can you learn about this beloved? What do you see that you have never seen before? How does your heart feel in response to such an intimate viewing?
Exercise 2: Clear Vision
Experience with clear vision what you see, instead of interpreting. Once the colors, shapes, and images become good or bad, pretty or ugly, familiar or unfamiliar, you have stepped away from a clear view. Describe in your journal a sunset, an oak tree, or the moment at dusk when all is in shadow. Describe it with your sense of sight in vivid detail.  Do not stop until you have captured it all. Once you have set your pen down, read through your description. Notice how many details you would normally miss with a casual glance. What surprises can you find in your observation?
Exercise 3: Capture the Music of Your Life
Take some time to reflect on your life and discover what sounds still ripple in your memory. A puppy’s excited bark, the sound of the 10 PM train, the melody of instruments from the kitchen as your mother prepared Sunday breakfast, a cat’s quiet purr, thunder rolling down off the ridge as a storm was approaching, the kettle whistling or the sound of a deep breath. We don’t always notice the nuances of sounds, but when we do, the moment is far richer. Master the skill of listening with your whole body.  Have an attitude of gratitude and compassion to the story the other person is sharing. This kind of intentional listening is a real gift to give and receive.
Exercise 4: Touch Awareness Day
The idea of touch may conjure the obvious: a warm hug, a firm handshake, or a gentle massage; but how many things do you touch each day that you don’t even notice? What if you went through one day paying attention to everything you touched and noticed how everything felt? Create your very own Touch Awareness Day and watch for surprises. Expand your touch capacity even further by going through one day consciously touching everything with loving hands.
Exercise Five: The Taste and Smell of Inspiration
Plan a feast for yourself and a few friends.  Choose the location, menu and table setting to reflect your personal tastes.  Feature your favorite wine, foods, and desserts.  Once prepared and ready sit and enjoy each dish with great attention.  Describe the smell of each food and take your first bites all together.  Savor the flavors and then share with one another how the tastes affect you. Acknowledge the feelings your body is experiencing because of the tastes and smells.

Be inspired to embrace how different life is when you come to your senses!

A package recently arrived in my mailbox containing the book, The Soul Of Money by Lynne Twist. When I opened it I knew a shift was at hand. When I read it,  new windows of understanding blew open, both about my relationship with money and the culture of money globally. I was fortunate, shortly after finishing the book, to be on a teleconference in which Lynne shared her passion and her wisdom. This is a woman changing the world.

Jolene Puffer is a woman who gets things done, has tons of great ideas, strives to contribute in meaningful ways, and is just plan fun! She wears many hats. One of which is the founder of Real Fitness for Life, and a great personal trainer. She is a powerful woman supporting woman in getting strong for strong lives. Though there are so many ways she is making a difference, I was stunned to learn her latest. Jolene signed up as a bone marrow donor several years ago when she learned a client's brother might not get a donor in time to survive. It is very rare to be selected, even after you've volunteered, because the match has to be perfect. She was recently contacted because a new baby boy with Leukemia needed her help. In an amazing act of courage and unconditional love, Jolene stepped up to the plate and checked into the hospital for the procedure. Everything went like clockwork and she is back to full swing. What a gift and what a blessing this women is!

Lisa Watters, Patty Levesque, and Maureen McDonnell came together with a huge vision, to bring the first ever Women's Conference to Asheville. They envisioned women gathering together for inspiration and empowerment and connecting in ways that would contribute to a better world. Now, so many months down the road, their dreams and hard work are becoming a reality. The Southeastern Time for Our Power Conference happens in Asheville, NC June 20-22 and is a tribute to the tremendous contribution three women can make!

Transition

What if … being in transition was nothing more than another day of living life?

In contrast …

What if  … the words upheaval, disruption, shaky footing, chaos defined your belief system around transition?

Let’s explore -

A big catch phrase that seems to pop up everywhere these days is “I am in transition.” A marriage ends – in transition. Kids leave the nest – in transition. The corporation is downsizing – in transition.

It becomes this badge that we wear, an identifying characteristic about who we are in our life at that moment. It is as if to say – I was cruising along, everything in control, and then this “thing” happened throwing all the balls up in the air at once.

 Ah, the illusion of control. The illusion that we ever had it all together, ever had that mapped out and utterly predictable life plan. The point that I am making is … given that a life lived is defined by change and too, chaos, well, maybe transition isn’t such a big deal. Every moment of our life we are in transition, like it or not.

Internalizing a more accepting notion about transition and change makes handling both the past and current situations with much less suffering and resistance and too, sets the stage for less fear and apprehension when taking on new roles and exploring new vistas.

The shift is simple:

Define one or two areas or times in your life that you would identify with transition.

From one vantage point experience it in the context of your entire life, see it as rich with lessons and an extraordinary opportunity to learn new skills and/or practice your existing skills. Beyond all that, see it as a normal part of this thing called life. It just is.

From another vantage point see the stress and resistance, the sense of being out of control and unsure of much you had previously felt sure of, feel the weight and hear the circular conversation in your head. Why me, why this?

Step back – from which perspective do you feel most empowered, most centered, strongest, most in flow?

The shift from being defined by and framed in by our transition to being in flow with transition can become the essence of living a juicy life. One you won’t want to miss out on.

“Every dip and rise, every twist and turn is part of the infinite journey, why turn aside from any of it?” Lama Surya Dass

I’m talking to you – Fear!

About this time two years ago, I was transitioning from a management position in corporate America and part-time coaching (which I had been doing for seven years) to full-time coaching. At that time I was searching for an advanced training program that I could jump into with both feet. One that spoke to my love for working with groups, working in women's circles. In that search, I came across Helene and The Retreat Coach Certification Program. At first glance it seemed the fit: comprehensive training in a variety of experiential formats (teleconference, workbook, hands-on retreats, mentor coaching) and a skillful facilitator in Helene. I joined the program and began an unexpected journey that I am proud to say I am still traveling.

I worked my way through the program, becoming a Certified Retreat Coach in December of 2007. I am now continuing on in the Master Program. What I expected, I received: great training, an expanded network, improved coaching skills on all fronts, and a great training and great time in Colorado in the spring of '07.

What was completely unexpected: that one woman and her vision and love and grace could change my life in so many ways. Helene mentors conscious coaching and living with every breath she takes. She is the kind of woman that you want to hang out with in hopes that some of her will rub off on you. She vibrates in such great ways.

The way she shows up reminds me ...

I want to be that light for others.

I want to do great work with an open heart.

I want to be a woman in circle holding safe space for other women.

and

I had this WOW! moment last week. It was one of those moments when all of a sudden life catches up and stops you in your tracks, in a good way!

It went like this ... Thursday, March 13, was the date of my first official Book Signing. It's true that my publication date is not until April 8th but we seem to be getting an early start.

I live in this wonderful little town and frequent a wonderful little book store, The Book Shelf. Just the right place to celebrate the birth of a new book!

Betsy, the owner and a wonderful woman, scheduled the signing for after hours and dished up appetizers and wine. I arrived a few minutes early and ... here comes my WOW moment ... through the display window I could see my books everywhere. On the display windows Betsy had posted messages from my book ... "No regrets" "Practice Self-Courtship", etc.

As I walked in I felt a huge wave of emotion. For the first time it hit me that I had, indeed, written a book that had been inside me forever, had published that book, and was standing in a bookstore whose shelves were lined with books I love and ... my book sat in such company.

With that wave came gratitude for all the support and encouragement I have received and for the books that have jumped off bookstore shelves over the years, filled with just the right words, at just the right time.

I celebrated with friends this amazing WOW moment and was reminded of the kind of magic that can happen when we listen to that call from deep within to create and we see it through.

Play Day!

What if …
You set aside one day per month as a “play day,” an “I’m worth it” day, a day to rediscover who you are and just what stirs your soul? Maybe it is alone time, maybe it is grabbing your favorite buddy and doing something outrageously fun.

Yep, it may seem impossible at first glance but consider it. Can you capture one day per month, 12 days in a year? That leaves you a whole bunch of days to do whatever else you may want or need to.

Imagine it, a year from now, you will have a collection of rich memories from play days.
How might this impact the quality of your life?

Now the contrast – when was the last time you did this, or maybe even the question is – have you ever done it?
What if you did not take this time ... ?

Step one: Get out your calendar right now and block out your first play day. You may want to pencil in the whole year for that matter.
Step two: Spend a few minutes visualizing what it may feel like to honor yourself in this way and how much more present this may allow you to be for yourself and others. Really experience and own how powerful and enriching claiming a meaningful day each month for you would be.
Step three: Design your day and make specific plans; make phone calls, reservations, track down the map for your hike, the book for your day curled uninterrupted on the couch with words you’ve been longing to read. You’ve got the idea.

“Mama exhorted her children at every opportunity to jump at the sun. We may not land on the sun, but at least we would get off the ground.” – Zora Neal Hurston

My passion: supporting women in designing and living lives they love!

A regular feature of The Woman's Field Guide Blog will be Spotlight on Exceptional Women. Why? Because there are so many women doing wonderful things, showing up in the world in wonderful ways and I want you to know about them!

Today's very cool woman is Dorothy LaFrinere, founder of www.womensselfesteem.com. The best way I can tell you more about this woman and this site is to share her opening comments from her the website:

Hello my name is Dorothy Lafrinere and I thought you might like to know a bit about us! I was born and raised in Canada where I raised 4 great children and ran a business for 23 years. I moved to Florida to continue my life and enjoy the tropics. My experiences throughout my life have built my character and made me an independent women. My issues regarding low self-esteem have directed me towards creating a wonderful website for all the women in the world! www.WomensSelfesteem.com

Concerning the website, I work the issues and provide support, along with women in my personal life and also women whom are members of womensselfesteem.com itself. Our goal is to simply put a smile on your face, add a little sunshine to your day, and help you find the strength to deal with your fears and tackle your weaknesses, but most importantly to help you find the goodness that is inside of you, so that you can live a peaceful, more confident and happy life.

I have had many questions regarding why the website is totally free. Well, it isn't actually really free. The payment that we ask for from members and any women that frequent my site is that they feel better about themselves, and that they use some of that gained strength to help other women who also suffer from self esteem issues that women are faced with in daily life.I call it,"Pay it Forward".
Keep Smiling! ENJOY!

This is, indeed, the kind of women I am proud to support and pleased to spread the word about!

There is a tug that can happen between tending to others and tending to ourselves. Yes, we can do both and yet sometimes we must become fierce and dedicated about loving ourselves, nurturing ourselves, in order to settle back home into our authentic, centered souls. From that place we have so very much to give to ourselves, our loved ones, and the world.

My favorite poet and Pulitzer Prize Winner, Mary Oliver, beautifully captures this place of calling in her poem, The Journey.